Lost

motivation (Brooklyn)

I used to to swim 2, 2 1/2 hours during the week and I’d go around the park on the weekends. And aerobics classes now and again. Nice arms, nice toned legs. I’ve lost my motivation.

I gave up swimming about a year ago. I rarely go around the park. At some point I began to wonder why I bothered doing it. I’d been doing it for years. YEARS.

I’m alone. Extremely introverted, have a difficult time talking to people. Not spontaneous with people at all. I’m lonely and introverted.

And I can see there area lots of overweight people out there who have lovers, significant others, are married. This past summer I saw a couple get married who where big people. They found love. They were perhaps 60, 70 pounds overweight. It’s not the weight. It’s not the body. It’s the personality. I’m too quiet and I can’t fix it. And I have to live with that because I can’t fix it.

It didn’t matter if my body was beautiful or not. It matters that I can’t talk to people.

So, I’ve gained weight. 10 pounds. And I don’t much like the extra weight and I’m trying to force myself to get back on track, but I can’t. I don’ t care. Apathy .

I need my motivation back. I need it back very badly.

Any ideas?

Location: New York

http://newyork.craigslist.org/brk/laf/1404103016.html